


Pups and Rhinestones

by rougefox



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, F/M, PageantParent!Sandor, Toddlers & Tiaras
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-09-06 12:13:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8750443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rougefox/pseuds/rougefox
Summary: Septa Mordane is coaching three young girls to win on the Beauty Pageant circuit. If only their father would give her a moment of peace.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SnowWhiteKnight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnowWhiteKnight/gifts).



> Prompt requested by SnowWhiteKnight; "Sandor being more of the pageant parent than Sansa"
> 
>  
> 
> I watched Toddlers & Tiaras and Dance Moms to make sure I got it right :)
> 
> Enjoy!

 

“Look up.”

 

 

The little girl with the fall of copper colored hair obeyed. Septa Mordane applied the eyeliner to her bottom lid.

 

 

“Close your eyes,” she commanded and Catie Clegane sat still as the fake eye lashes were pressed in place.

 

 

While the glue dried, Mordane checked on Elinor. The little girl was being helped into a buttercup yellow tulle and silk gown by one of her assistants. Most girls (hell most women) couldn’t pull off that color but Elinor Clegane with her black hair and blue eyes killed in the glamour competition every single time.

 

 

Mordane swiveled around and made sure little Sandy wasn’t messing with her talent costume. But thankfully the little girl sat like a doll with her hair curled perfectly into Olivia Newton John’s hairdo from _Grease_ complete with leather jacket and tight leather pants. Having her ride out in a miniature 1949 Mercury Custom (complete with engine noise) and dance to _Greased Lightin_ ’ won the talent portion in her age group every single time.

 

 

The girls were perfect; obedient, talented and beautiful.

 

 

This would be so much easier if she didn’t have that gargoyle of a father breathing down her neck. He was always questioning her every decision, drilling the girls on their dancing and poise when they got home from lessons, and almost tackled a photographer who tried to get Sandy’s attention for a picture during her routine.  

 

 

His raspy voice came from a good five feet above where she sat; “Catie needs to wear the grey dress with the rhinestones this time.”

 

 

“Mr. Clegane,” Septa Mordane sighed. “You have hired me to coach these girls and I say she wears the green.”

 

 

“The grey brings out her eyes and I’ve already seen three other girls in green,” he snarled.

 

 

Sept Mordane wished security would grow a pair and block him from the dressing area.

 

 

“This is the _Spring Time_ competition, Mr. Clegane,” she said through clinched teeth. “Everyone is in spring colors like pink, green or blue. Grey is for winter.”

 

 

“The grey one has more rhinestones,” he snapped. “It will look better under the lights!”

 

 

Septa Mordane wanted to crush her tongue with the eye lash curler to keep from telling him where he could stick his rhinestones. Chances are they wouldn’t come out very shiny anymore.

 

 

Just then Catie opened her eyes and practiced fluttering the false eyelashes.

 

 

“Father,” she sang in her sweet little girl voice. “I like the green. It reminds me of that dress Mother wears that you said made her look so beautiful!”

 

 

Septa Mordane silently wished that their mother was the one backstage. Sansa Stark had done pageants in her youth for college money and knew how to keep her mouth shut.

 

 

Mr Clegane grunted. He noticed that Elinor’s up-do was adored with a yellow feathered broach and laid into the dressing assistant claiming that she was making his daughter look like “Big Bird as a drag queen”.

 

 

“Once we win, he calms down,” Sandy tried to reassure everyone as she sipped her Diet Mountain Dew.

 

 

Catie puckered her lips for the lipstick. Behind her, Septa Mordane heard one of the production assistants call for all non-pageant personnel to leave the staging area.

 

 

“That’s _you_ , Mr. Clegane,” Septa Mordane hissed as she applied lip liner.

 

 

“Mark my words,” a gravelly voice hissed in her ear. “If anyone of them gets second place, you better be gone before the crowd clears.” Then he told his daughters he loved them and left to go find his wife in the audience.

 

 

 _“His checks clear, his checks clear, his checks clear,”_ Mordane hissed under her breath and motioned for Catie to press her lips together to ensure the lip gloss was evenly distributed.


End file.
